Killing It In My Sixties

I love the classic Beatles song, “Will You Still Love Me, When I’m 64”? It was the song that our musicians played at our wedding when we walked down the aisle for the recessional, after saying our vows. I was only 18 when I got married, so 64 seemed to be a very long way off, and when you are that young – well – everything seems possible.

Now at the ripe old age of 62, I am wondering who will still hire me when I’m 64? Understand – I am presently gainfully employed – in fact I have two jobs – but after taking an early retirement at 55, I knew I still wanted to be active and work – just not at a stress-filled job that kept my heart racing at an unhealthy and uncomfortable pace, that I could somehow always feel in my neck.

My first adventure after retirement was to teach English as a Second Language in Italy for a few months. Living in Florence was a dream I had held for many years while raising my sons. Teaching there, helped me integrate into the community, earn some money and meet people who would become friends. I didn’t feel like I experienced ageism while I was trying to get jobs in Italy, but in hindsight – the jobs may have been going to the younger girls without me realizing it.

When I came back to the US, I started looking for a part-time job that would challenge me but not stress me out. I was fortunate to land a position rather quickly, but after not working in an office environment for several months – I felt like a fish out of water. The new people I was working with were younger, experienced in their field, and when they heard the word “retired” from me, they automatically placed me in the “old category” (like I had one foot in an assisted living facility).

I always knew that my career had been of utmost important to my identity and sense of self-worth. I didn’t know how to let go of feeling like I needed a big-deal job in order to be respected – well thought of, if you know what I mean. So I kept applying for jobs that I thought would still be high profile and impressive. But I was noticing it was increasingly difficult to compete in the hiring process. Everyone focused on the fact that I had “retired”, like I was only working for the fun of it.

I was fortunate enough to land a few jobs that were important, but I was miserable – none lasted longer than a year. I quickly got to the point where I would accept any job that was offered to me – even when – in reality – they were not necessarily a job I was interested in. I was fearful of not being able to live comfortably off my pension so I persisted. But as time went on – it became increasingly clear – I wasn’t anyone’s first choice. So my anxiety motivated me to just keep taking whatever was offered to me.

I was asking myself what was wrong – not to be boastful – but I had never applied for a position that I wasn’t ultimately offered the job. That is – until I retired. Now they weren’t calling me back for a second interview and sometimes not interviewing me at all! What had changed? I have a graduate degree, years of relevant experience, and excellent references.

What had changed – was I had entered the invisible age. The age of ageism. The phase where you are assumed to no longer be relevant – not in the workplace, in business and worst of all – in the eyes of others. My insecurities took a front and center position in my psyche – I was acutely aware of the twenty and thirty year olds not including me in their discussions, meetings, planning sessions and the like. They seemed to maneuver technology with an air of confidence and disdain for me as I searched for the right app to use, or button to press.

Of course not one person EVER said one word remotely close to anything that could be construed as age-discrimination – but you feel it – deep in your soul. And you know they are stepping lightly to avoid a lawsuit.

One day as I was whining to my brother about my discontent with work, he made a startling suggestion. He said – why don’t you stop going after just any job? How about you decide what YOU want, what kind of schedule suits you, what will make you happy – after all – isn’t that why you retired? What a concept!!!

That stuck in my head – and ultimately I landed a job working for a company that employs a workforce where more than half of the staff are over sixty years of age. They appreciate the work ethic I bring, the experience I have from years of working and like the fact that I stay up on the latest technology and operational methods. I recently showed my 77-year old boss how to use the ChatGPT app for AI, and the many ways it could be used in his company. He was so excited – he asked me how to download the app for himself!

I’m not going to lie and say there is some magic bullet that will prevent ageism in the workplace – but there are ways to find joy and work – in the same place. How? That’s a whole other blog…