Killing It In My Sixties

One of my retirement jobs is substitute teaching grades K-12. Last week I was subbing in a class full of 6th grade students ages 11-12. We were discussing the Neanderthal era and the characteristics of ‘community’ during that time. Their patterns of behavior and available resources, as related to survival, made for a lively discussion in the classroom. While the Neanderthals depended on hunting, fire, crude tools made from rock and wood for survival in their daily lives – I asked these students about their top 3 survival needs in today’s world.

Their responses ranged from thoughtful and heartfelt to the outrageous in comparison to the survival needs millions of years ago. I was touched by how many students noted that the love of family, food and water were their most prominent needs – and at the same time reassured about the future of humanity. Simultaneously, there were as many students who listed their essential needs as: WiFi, iPads, Minecraft, cellphones, gummy bears, skateboards, and television to name a few.

Then they asked me, “what was it like when you were a kid in the olden days”? I didn’t even need to exaggerate and talk about covered wagons or gas lamp lighting – they thought my actual existence was bad enough! My tales of rotary telephones, black and white tv, no internet, and cursive handwriting blew their minds! One young man actually said, “no wonder your hair is gray”!!

This particular group of kids didn’t want to hear me wax poetic about how life was simpler and somehow better back then. But in so many ways, it was! Don’t get me wrong – I love all my modern conveniences – my iPhone, iPad, ChatGPT app, social media, online banking, the ability to text, and all the things that are literally at my fingertips. I am way more attached to all of that than I care to admit.

But – I miss the days when you could write a check, and it didn’t get cashed and processed by the bank for several days. I miss having my gas pumped by a service station employee who would wash the car windows, and check your oil while you waited. And I REALLY miss when gas was $0.19 cents a gallon!

I miss being excited for Friday night to come so that I could watch the Brady Bunch, and the Partridge Family on tv. I miss going to the movie theatre when they would show a ‘double feature’ – it was so great: your whole afternoon was taken care of! I miss playing out in the street until dark during the summer with all my neighborhood friends. I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted and never gaining weight. I miss Christmas at my grandma and grandpa’s house with all my cousins, and presents, and candy and the notorious self-written plays that we would perform for the adults after dinner.

I miss, (believe it or not), wearing my Catholic school uniform everyday. There was no peer pressure, no decision to make about what to wear in the morning, and my other clothes always felt like ‘special clothes’. I miss writing letters to my friends, cousins, and others and sending them in the mail with a stamp – and then receiving mail back! An email or text is nice but- it just doesn’t pack the same thrill! I miss getting the Sears Christmas catalog and looking through it for hours – dog-earring the pages that had the items I wanted. In my mind – this was a direct hotline to Santa!

I miss me and all my cousins loading in the way-back of our family station wagons and singing, “Sweet Pea” as we chugged down the freeway. I miss riding my sparkly-turquoise-banana-seat StingRay bike around the neighborhood and stopping at Ken’s Market to buy a Fire Stick candy. And I miss when my girlfriends and I would automatically plan a slumber party when the TV Guide said that both “Birds” and “Psycho” were playing Friday night.

I miss “reading” the backs of cereal boxes during breakfast, and then watching cartoons on Saturday morning for hours, while the parents slept in. And the free prize that came in the cereal boxes! Oh – the fights over who was going to get the secret decoder ring or the crazy Crater Critters – backroom deals were made – I guarantee!

I miss cruising on Friday and Saturday nights – up and down the boulevard on a couple dollars worth of gas. And the 10 cent Cola-flavored Slurpees from 7-11 after school. I miss the ‘empty lots’ we used to be able to play in as kids; we imagined ourselves in faraway places exploring and discovering treasures. I miss only having 13 channels on our television – believe it or not – it was easier to decide what to watch back then!

But most of all – I miss my metabolism, my wrinkle-free complexion, my energy, my pain-free back, and my family and friends that have passed.