Killing It In My Sixties

Why are men never asked about their visible signs of aging – and furthermore – why do these men not seem to be concerned? Does anyone ever comment on a man’s hair going gray, or the slight belly paunch that protrudes over his belt line? How about the crow’s feet and the drooping skin just under their chin? Is the cosmetic industry targeting the male audience about their “crepey” skin, and suggesting a life-long subscription to the miracle creme formula that will help stave it off for the rest of one’s life? Are men attending Botox parties with their buddies, where the host serves craft IPA’s and ribs?

No – they aren’t – because men accept that they age. And what’s worse – women accept that men age! But women can’t seem to accept aging in themselves – possibly because men don’t want to accept aging women, and society certainly provides very few aging women as role models. And those role models are constantly defending their choice to age naturally. Sarah Jessica Parker seems to answer more questions about her visible aging than her successful acting career, long marriage and beautiful children. She is called “brave”, for being seen publicly with gray hair and textured skin. That’s not brave – BRAVE is fighting for your life, or going to war to defend your country against terrorism.

Does anyone ever see a man in his outfit of the day, and think, “Oh who is he trying to fool? He can’t pull that off – those jeans are for a younger man”?  When a man wears his bathing suit to the beach or the pool, does he wear a big t-shirt or tent-like garment to hide the belly? Heck No! He walks out to the water in his usual swimming trunks, belly bared for all to see – and actually enjoys his day out in the sun!  We women – if we dare to bare a stomach – we lay flat on a lounge chair with a cover up close by to grab – God forbid we have to sit up and expose the jiggle!

Women tend to start snoring as they grow older – then – all of a sudden – after having tolerated their man’s snoring for years, (with no sympathy) – now their man is berating them about not being able to sleep, through the freight train that comes out of his wife’s mouth at night! Or what about falling asleep on the couch at a dinner party? We women stay awake, pushing through the evening with lively conversation – can you imagine if our man had to wipe the drool from our chin waking us up on the couch, to head home?! Never. Gonna. Happen.

Does a man plan his schedule around getting his roots touched up, waxing appointment, mani/pedi appointment, menstrual cycle, or lack thereof? No – he just plans to go somewhere and goes. Sure he has to pack a suitcase, but all his clothes always fit him. He doesn’t have to try things on – to work around issues like water-weight-gain, tummy bloat, shoe height, a bra that works with the neckline, color that works with the lipstick, and whether or not the laundry is done.

Rare is the man who gets a facial. I’m not saying they wouldn’t love it, but I am saying that typically a facial is designed with women in mind.  Does a man think about plumping up his facial skin and worry about eye puffiness? I think not.  Probably not every man – but A LOT of men – use the same product to wash their face, body and hair – all at the same time – in the shower.  In the meantime – I have a morning routine, as well as a night routine, and approximately 6 different products that go into those two routines.  I also have a nighttime lip-care ritual to try to stave off the lines that are sprouting out around my mouth like a damn daisy!

Sure – a man exfoliates daily – when he shaves – does that really count though?  Does he ever look at his hands and think – WOW – I need to do something about these age spots!  Or does he realize he needs to take better care of his nails because he’s starting to get ridges in them?  And I’m pretty sure he isn’t carrying around an assortment of personal fans to deal with the inconvenient hot flashes. I call them inconvenient – because I never get one when I need one – only when it’s super awkward and embarrassing! 

Does a man ever worry that he looks frumpy in flat shoes or athletic shoes? No – that’s all he’s ever worn! Society never told him he looked sexier in pointy-toed high heels!  If his nut-sac is sagging – no one knows – they are packaged tidily in his underwear and slacks, while our boobs are an ever present and increasingly uneven load, up-front and center for all to see.

Do I want to be a man? No – all I’m saying is – I want society to quit being so tough on women who are aging.  Don’t tell them they, “look good for their age”, or that they could look younger if only they…. (Fill in the blank).  And men? Recognize that all beauty will eventually go away – instead look for the inner beauty that grows with time and the personality that will keep you laughing into your waning years.