Killing It In My Sixties

Is a life without drama possible? Is it possible, if you have grown up with a vast amount of daily drama throughout your lifetime? Do we learn to thrive on drama, or – in fact – do we create it unnecessarily? Have you ever noticed that drama seems to occur with the same people or situations rather consistently?  Do you walk away from drama or do you actively participate in the energy?

As a society we seem to be attracted to drama; reality tv shows are at their best-rated, when there is conflict or scandal.  Take the last year’s “Scandoval”, where the Bravo tv series, Vanderpump Rules, saw three of their main characters involved in a messy love triangle.  It was such a huge news story that it made it to major news bureaus’ nightly news reports.  That particular scandal and ALL of the drama surrounding it has made the series’ ratings soar!  And the injured party, has had phenomenal career success ever since.

Even in real life – have you ever been at a party where there is too much alcohol, consumed by too many? Then somebody starts flirting with someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend – and jealousy rears its ugly and very irrational head?  Before you know it – there are tears and accusations – sometimes storming off into the night with more bad decisions.  Hopefully by morning, rational, (and sober) minds prevail and things seem calmer – but the residual drama and damage remains.

It happens in the workplace as well, (minus the alcohol); sometimes great amounts of  time spent together with widely differing personalities, opinions, work styles and beliefs, creates inevitable drama that can intensify irrational behaviors.  These tensions can escalate to unplanned terminations and at worst – workplace violence.

I want to believe we have a choice. A choice to walk away from it; to make a conscious decision to avoid or attract drama.  I think it takes a great degree of self-awareness and personal choice.  I am at the stage in my life where I want to actively choose to remove as much drama as possible from my daily life.  This decision comes on the heels of a life lived with an inordinate amount of chaos.  I literally did not know a life without drama – so choosing to opt out of it is extremely challenging.

When you hear the word drama, do particular people come to mind? As I get older, I find myself choosing to eliminate as much drama as possible in my daily life. Of course – unfortunate or tragic situations will continue to occur whether we want them or not – BUT – can we choose how we show up for those times?  Can we disengage from the destructive part of the drama?

I realize I have posed more questions than answers up to this point, and I am not done exploring the topic as yet – I will probably be curious forever.  As dynamic human beings, these types of situations will continue to be present over the space and time continuum. I think one of my biggest questions is, does drama serve ANY good purpose?  It definitely brings attention to the person and situation – but not in a good way.

In general, drama is due to a need for attention or validation on the part of the person generating it.  Insecurity, narcissism and a history of trauma predicates a person’s psyche to gear-up for trouble with adrenalin and cortisol that enhances their already-strong emotions.   Add some alcohol to the mix that removes any sound judgement and – BINGO – DRAMA. 

I find it interesting that since I have almost completely eliminated alcohol from my daily life, I am able to more easily choose peace and contentment over drama.  I’m not bragging – it’s not easy and I am sure I will fail at times – but maintaining awareness is key, in my opinion.  When it starts, breathe deeply, keep your cool, call an Uber, and drink some water.  I have also become aware, that with aging, comes a desire for less drama in life. It’s too hard – too taxing. We CAN choose to disengage from people and situations that generate drama. Making a conscious and deliberate choice to alleviate it from your life. It may be a Pollyanna-type notion,  but I would venture to say the world would be a better place – No?