Killing It In My Sixties

So many pieces of advice are given with all the best of intentions.  People who have experienced more life, (or a very different life than you), want to impart their hard-earned wisdom to make your path a little easier.  I find myself doing it; giving someone advice based on my own missteps.  But the reception given to this type of suggestion is usually tepid at best. If the person I am trying to help, manages to avoid a solid eye-roll, the response is usually a weak nod and shrug off their shoulders.

Why do we NOT want to take the forewarning to heart?  The person is likely describing their own cautionary tale, in an attempt to help you avoid a similar consequence.  But being afraid to do important things would prevent us from moving forward, and growing from the situation – even if not ideal.  The process of trying something, scratching the itch, satisfying a longing or yearning desire; it occupies our every thought.  If someone tried to stop us on that journey, we would inevitably return to the ‘want/need/desire’, whenever possible.

All that being said – I do wish I had heeded some of the advice I was given in the past 50 years of my life.  I won’t count the first thirteen years because during that time I either obeyed or ignored.  So – here’s my list:

1. Trust Your Gut.   Always.  Your instinct will never steer you wrong.  That funny feeling in your stomach? It’s telling you, “NO”.  In any and all situations, 9 times out of 10, your gut feeling is right.  The job? The guy? The trip? The engagement? The exit on the freeway? The College? Just – No.

2. Find a job/career that you love. You will spend every day doing it. If you do it just for the paycheck – it will get very old – very quick.  Start at the bottom if you have to, and then work your way up.  You will spend the majority of your waking hours doing your work – so make it something that brings you joy –  or at least –  satisfaction.

3. Travel as much as you possibly can.   If you are afraid to fly – find ways to work through it; hypnosis, anxiety medications, a little wine, an understanding companion, or earbuds to listen to distracting or calming music.  Travel is the singular BEST form of education outside of formal schooling. You will learn so much about yourself as well as being exposed to the many different ways of life outside your own.  Different food, different weather, different cultures, different languages, and history you’ll never get out of a book!

4. Learn to love yourself first.  If your self-worth and confidence depend on another’s approval, you will never get to just be YOU.  As long as you try to be somebody for someone else – you’ll be miserable.  There are too many different “somebodies” to please them all – please yourself first. And when you are alone – as you will be at some point in life – then you will enjoy your own company.

5. Know Your Why.  Why do I want this job? Why am I getting married to this person? Why am I saying ‘yes’ when I want to say ‘no”? Why am I mad/upset? Why do I want to buy that? Why am I procrastinating? Why am I putting energy into someone who is not reciprocating?  I believe that honestly answering the “why’s”, is truly your path to contentment.

6. A lot of people will walk in and out of your life.  It’s gonna be hard & painful, but you’ll heal. Make sure to have good times as long as they stay, and when they choose to go, end it on happy notes. Don’t hold onto bitter feelings for anyone. ‘Letting go’ is an important lesson of life that I wish we were taught when we were very young.

7. It is okay to leave anyone, anything and anyplace that makes you feel like shit.   You don’t owe an explanation – unless you want to.  No one deserves to feel like shit.  Choose where your energy goes.  Make it the best choice for yourself.  Know that you are enough and worthy of an awesome life.

8. Let it Be.  I wish that someone had told me that the more I try to change a person, manipulate a situation, resist a change, or get rid of bad” feelings – the longer they will persist.  Know yourself, your own worth and let everyone else, “BE”.