Killing It In My Sixties

I spent yesterday in the company of a group of Seniors that I have come to dearly love over the past two years. They’re not seniors in the same way that I am a Senior, (as in 65+, AARP, Early-Bird Dinner, movie ticket discounts etc..). They are Seniors in High School and preparing to graduate at the end of the Spring semester. They are at one of the major crossroads in their relatively young lives. It was a meaningful 12-hour day designed to create an environment that students would be encouraged to reflect, look deep within and ask themselves some of the hard questions that they will face in the days ahead. I saw the parallel with my senior retirement status.

The themes for the day covered two main ideas: 1)Discovering your own gifts & Appreciating the gifts of others. 2) The transition from high school – Leaving to love and serve.

A sunny late March day in the woods served as the setting. These students are in the throws of “Senior-itis”, the fever that sets in as the students receive college acceptance letters, start their countdown to graduation, and begin to dream about a future that will provide the freedom they so desperately long for. I remember feeling the same way – I couldn’t wait to get out and start my life!

The activities, speeches and group discussions centered around future careers paths, becoming parents themselves, navigating the twists and turns that inevitably come in life, and relationships with parents as they prepare to move away from them. The students were challenged to envision what they realistically saw for their future, what they would choose in a life partner, would they want to have children, and what they would carry with them from their time and relationships in high school.

Their excitement about breaking free from the rules, structure and authority that has been their daily life since they started school in kindergarten – was palpable – almost frenetic. But – I wondered if any of them were afraid? I wondered if any of them longed for just a little more time to be a kid? I wondered if any of them were secretly dreading the pressures that lay before them in the coming year? I found myself reflecting back on the spring of my senior year.

Looking back, I had to ask myself – “Would I have done anything different”? Some of the students asked me that very question. That is always a hard one – I wouldn’t want to have missed having my three sons – there is no question about that. Had I taken a different path after graduation – would I still have had them? Probably not – so that is one of the age-old questions that are impossible to fathom.

Now – in my third week into retirement, I found myself experiencing a similar excitement that these 17 and 18 year-olds were feeling. I am now free from rules, structure and authority as a working adult for the past 50+ years. How many times did I bristle when a supervisor pushed me to do something that did not align with my values? How often did I want to skip work and go to the beach? How many times would I daydream at work about a life that would be free of stress, politics, tense relationships, and expectations?

I’m not going to college, but I feel like my whole life has opened up for me, I can wake up when I want to, I can go to bed when I want to, I can travel to places near and far, I can be in charge of everything about me – my health, my calm, my creativity, my bliss. The difference between me and the high school seniors? I have behind me – 50+ years of mistakes, twists, turns, losses, achievements, loves, relationships, choices, events and most of all – LESSONS. The biggest lesson of all was to learn to listen to my heart and always know – that – I am right where I am supposed to be.

I wish, with all my heart, that sharing our experiences with those students and others, could save them from hurt, heartbreak, disappointments, mistakes, and shame. But we are all meant to learn them on our own, in our own way. I wish them love, courage and purpose.

Congratulations Seniors. Both young and old.