Killing It In My Sixties

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I recently became aware of a Facebook group called “Dull Women’s Club”, and it has close to 350,000 members!  I read a couple of the posts from different members and was (mildly) amused enough to join the group.  The content consists of people posting a photo of themselves and then describing the rather mundane lives that they are completely content with.  Members describe their favorite activities, such as reading, napping, sitting in the sun, sipping tea, starting craft projects that they never finish, watching the wind blow and talking to their pets.  Then the other seasoned members decide if a new person that has joined is “dull enough” for the group.  People are actually striving to be non-relevant!

This group is the direct opposite of everything our society has become since the launch of social media and all the over-the-top competitiveness that comes with it.  How refreshing and yet…dull.  People tend to post all of the “best” of their life; most attractive, (and often filtered) selfies, most fun parties, exotic vacations, and crazy adventures.  It has been proven in studies, that individuals who are prone to depression, find such posts to increase feelings of self-doubt and a lack of confidence.  I have actually stopped following certain individuals because I was aware that their posts triggered me.

It’s easy to see social media posts and assume that the content is the totality of that person’s life and existence, when in reality – it is just a small snapshot of what they want to portray to the world. That is why I was so attracted to the Dull Women’s Club group – just a shit-ton of women who are simply content with their life, and feel no need to defend or pretend to be anything else.  They seem like people I would like to be friends with – they get up in the morning, drink coffee, get ready for work, go to a job that pays the bills, offers benefits, and doesn’t require them to be anyone other than exactly who they are.

When you are what is considered “dull”, your hobbies are quiet and peaceful, like maybe baking some banana bread, or binge-watching a good Netflix series, and I think a nap on a rainy day is darn near perfect bliss!  I like to take long walks and look at other people’s homes and gardens.  Sitting on my balcony overlooking the town and hills, while listening to my favorite playlist on my earbuds is so peaceful.  An under-rated and mostly-unspoken hobby of mine,  is shopping online for hours, filling my shopping cart, and … never buying a thing!  I am also strangely addicted to reading my daily horoscope in as many places as I can find it.  It is odd that each one can be so different from the others.  I usually pick my favorite and believe that one!

I find a weird satisfaction in seeing consistency in my life too.  For example, every morning when I drive to work, I pass by a diner in my town.  and every morning – the same older man is in the window, sitting at the same table, facing south and reading the newspaper.  One morning he was not there – and I thought about him many times that day – wondering if he was okay.  Thankfully he was back the next morning and hasn’t missed a day again.  If I told anyone this – I am certain it would barely be a blip in the conversation. Why? Because it’s kinda’ dull. Looking for the same man every morning in the diner window? Who does that? I do.

Upon discovering the Dull Women’s Club, I was reassured to find that, literally thousands of people lead very ordinary lives, and are fairly damn happy with it.  One of the qualities of life I have noticed changing as I grow older, is the invisibility that comes with our later years.  I’m not gonna lie – it hasn’t been easy to accept that, so I have tried to actively participate in embracing my “disappearance”.  In my younger years, I was definitely that person who was looking for attention; dancing on bars, flashing my boobs, having wild parties, and documenting my world travels while meeting interesting people.  And — I was always willing to be the one to say that one thing out loud, that no one else would.

Coming off of a run like that isn’t easy.  Descending into, what others, would consider a dull life – sparks concern.  Who am I – if I am not the life of the party? Who is this gray-haired, jeans and sweatshirt-wearing older lady who wants to be home before 8:00 pm because she is a better person the next day with a full night’s sleep behind her?  Who is this lady who, at one time turned her dining room into a martini bar, but has now decided that alcohol just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be anymore?  The answer is boring – I like to feel good the next day, I like that my eyes aren’t bloodshot, I like that I have lost weight and saved money, and my blood pressure is normal now that I have pretty much stopped since my ‘sober-curious’ phase of life.

Well – there you have it…  I am Diane. I am Dull. Join me!